61 414 799 515 will@cashcopy.com.au

I’m pissed off at how bad headlines are on websites. So I’m going to do occasional, unsolicited, copy rewrites for some I come across.

The headline determines whether someone stays or leaves. Often in a few seconds. So getting this right makes or breaks your business.

First up is Drift. I have no commercial relationship with them but I like their chat tool.

Here’s what they have now:

Introducing

The Drift® Revenue Acceleration Platform

Bring your go-to-market teams together to deliver personalized customer experiences in real time – so you can increase your revenue, shorten your sales cycles, and strengthen your brand. 

Do you know for sure what they do? Also this headline rates Grade 12. An effective headline should rate 6-8. Lower is better because more people can understand it.

Here’s my rewrite:

Here’s How…

You Can get More Clients From Your Site By Changing 1 Small Thing

When someone visits your site they often have questions they need answered. Live chat allows you to answer them immediately. This means you can convert more visitors into paying customers. It’s fast and easy to setup.

This is Grade 5 which means anyone can read it and understand what Drift does.

Small changes in your words can lead to massive changes in your sales.

By the way if anyone from Drift is reading I’d love to help you create better copy to sell your wonderful service.